A few days before Christmas, my daughter got her P plates and is now enjoying the freedom of coming and going without relying on my Uber services. Well, at least not in a full-time capacity. As any parent would appreciate, I’ve still had to pick her up and drop her off at plenty of places.
But something is different now when we’re in the car together.
Since getting her license, on occasions, she will respectfully point out my driving flaws by letting me know when I creep over the speed limit, don’t do enough head checks, or do a range of other low-level misdemeanours, mostly due to bad habits. To be clear, I certainly don’t have the intent to do the wrong thing, and often, I am oblivious to the fact I’m doing anything wrong until she tells me.
The first few times this happened, I either disregarded her comments and nodded my head or found myself saying things like, “I’ve been driving for nearly 30 years. You’ve been driving for 120 hours and passed one test.”
After reflecting on this, what’s interesting is that the things her driving instructor told her to work on before the test are the things that I may not do all that well, like having my hands positioned correctly on the steering wheel and cutting a corner when turning.
And then I realised.
These moments reminded me of an important lesson that I’d underestimated about teaching. It reminded me that our behaviour as adults is one of our most critical teaching tools – both good and bad. In this instance, I realised that my teaching approach was, ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’ Obviously, that doesn’t work. Regardless of what I was telling her about ‘good driving techniques,’ she was learning by watching me. In fact, this learning process started well before her 120 hours in the driver’s seat. It started years ago.
The same principle holds true in the classroom. Just as my daughter observed and mimicked my driving behaviour, your students will be constantly watching your every move. Your actions, words and attitudes become a blueprint for the culture in your classroom.
For instance, it’s pointless to have Respect as a school value on the sign at the front gate or on posters in the classrooms if it’s not being modelled at every level, every time.
What’s more powerful when teaching kids about respect is the adult who constantly models respectful behaviour. Are you taking the time to listen, value different opinions, demonstrate empathy, and address conflict firmly and fairly?
The opposite is true, too. When a teacher is dismissive, stands over, is directive, or uses a sledgehammer approach to curve behaviour, then they’ll eventually start to get the same behaviour in return.
So, when the bell rings for the start of 2025, remember that it’s not just about what you teach, it’s how you teach. Every little move you make matters. If nothing else, if you focus on your behaviour first, you’re more likely to create the classroom climate you want and that your students need.
