Ah, the new school year!
I’ve been navigating the plethora of information, blogs, suggestions, and must-dos that have been flooding the internet and social media over the past couple of weeks. All I can say is… Wow! There are so many, and it’s so confusing. It would be terribly easy to get overwhelmed and just throw your hands up in despair.
Fear not, I say! There’s a really simple way to look at this. Your aim, as a teacher, is to get the students to do what you want, when you want, and learn some stuff along the way. Well, consider this…
Have you, as an adult, ever been in a situation where you’ve been asked to do something for someone and you’d really rather not? Sure, you say, plenty of times. Well, me too! And reflecting back on this, there’s a common thread – and, by the way, this common thread is backed by research.
Here’s what my reflections told me: Even if I don’t want to do it, I’m going to do it if the person is caring, nice to me, and has done stuff for me. If my friend down the road has fed my pets and put my bin out while I was away, I feel kinda obliged to do the same for her. It’s the common decency flag that starts flying and says, “A good person would reciprocate,” and well, she’s been kind to me and I like her. I don’t really think about it like that in the moment; I don’t pull out the research and say, “That’s what good humans do.” It’s just in my gut that says it’s the right thing to do because that person is nice, and I like them.
Or, have you ever been invited to something and you think, “Mmm, I don’t really want to go,” but then you go because the person inviting you means something to you, because you’re friends, because they’re nice? And by the way, despite your best efforts, you even have a good time when you get there.
I say, when you head into your school, regardless of whether you’ve been there for one minute, five years, or 20 years, approach the students with this in mind. At the end of the day, the little people are people, and they have the same psychological makeup as big people.
So in 2025, if you want your students to do what you want, when you want, and learn some stuff along the way. If you want those little people to turn up at school and keep coming back: be nice!
Be the person that the little, and big, people do stuff for because you’ve done something for them, you’ve been friendly, you’ve cared. You’ve made the time to form a relationship. Make their common decency flag start flying.
You know what the research says? People like Maslow, Brendtro, Fredrickson, Broom, Glasser, and Hattie have been saying it for a while. We’re more likely to be happier, healthier, and more successful when we have solid relationships with the people around us and feel like we belong. Relationships push us to show up for others—even when it’s tough or we’re not really in the mood.
The researchers also say that the people who struggle the most to build relationships (or make connections) are often the ones who need them the most.
My personal challenge for 2025: Reflect on each interaction I have to determine the level of belongingness in the relationship, with the primary view of leveraging this for better outcomes for the person I am working with.
Oh, and P.S… My colleagues Brenda Quale and Trish Coelho wrote a paper focusing on the links between direct instruction and relationships. It’s truly a game changer. Check it out here.
Check out other articles Candice has written here.