I heard Paul Grabowsky speaking on the radio the other day. He was reflecting on his music –how he’s drawn to melancholy, minor progressions and moments that feel unresolved. He said something that stuck with me:
“If you’re looking for an outcome, you’re often disappointed. But when you get the process right, you can be proud of that.”
He wasn’t talking about school culture or Restorative Practice. But he may as well have been.
Grabowsky’s love of process over product mirrors something deeply important in our work with young people. In schools, we’re often pushed to chase outcomes – academic results, attendance figures, behaviour data. But if we obsess over outcomes without honouring process, we lose the soul of the work. And more importantly, we lose the people in it.
That’s where Restorative Practice 2.0 – particularly the Fair Process model – becomes so powerful.
Fair Process, I believe is the pathway to Conscience, Empathy, and Connection.
Fair Process has three stages:
- Engagement: Inviting the voices of the people who need to be heard.
- Explanation: Clarifying the ‘why’ behind decisions.
- Expectation Clarity: Outlining what will happen next, accountabilities and especially the support needed to make things better.
The magic lies in the first step, Engagement:
- It’s relational
- It signals: You matter. Your voice matters.’
When we engage students and families early – before we problem-solve, fix, rebuild or issue penalties because of harm – we lay the foundation for empathy, conscience and emotional intelligence.
I wanted to share a quick story from the corridor at one of our partner schools.
Year 8 student Jayden had been avoiding classes and disrupting the flow when he did attend. Detentions, removals, phone calls home – nothing worked. They just added guilt, disappointment and labels.
After a teacher coaching session on Fair Process, the school tried something different.
They connected with Jayden, arranging a conversation with his Year Level Leader, a trusted staff member, and his mum on the phone. Instead of starting with consequences, they began with curiosity:
“Jayden, help us understand – what’s going on for you?”
After some patience, Jayden spoke for the first time in weeks. His mum listened. So did the staff.
In the next phase, things clicked. The team explained how his actions affected others, shared options to support him, and clarified what fairness and accountability would look like if things didn’t shift. Jayden contributed ideas too.
It wasn’t perfect. But Jayden started turning up to class a little more often, week by week.
His mum later called: “I appreciate that Jayden was really heard, and you helped him – and me – with a plan to get better and at least like school a little!”
Like Grabowsky’s music, this story didn’t resolve neatly or perfectly. But it resonated. Because the process was right. The connection was made. And from that connection came some progress (small steps, but progress).
Building a restorative culture takes time.
If we focus on how we do the work – not just what we want to achieve – we build schools where young people grow in empathy, resilience and responsibility.
And that’s something worth making music about.
