I want to start with a truth that might be uncomfortable: Our young people are struggling.
Not in a vague, ‘Kids these days,’ kind of way, but in a documented, researched and deeply concerning way. Jonathan Haidt’s latest book, The Anxious Generation, lays it out with stark clarity – over the past decade, we’ve seen a dramatic rise in anxiety, depression and loneliness among our teens. And it’s not just because ‘the world is changing.’ It’s because we’ve unintentionally stripped away something fundamental to healthy development: real, embodied, synchronised human connection.
Driving by any bus stop, you’ll recognise the scene: a group of teenagers, gathered together, yet each of them staring at their phone, eyes glued to the screen. It’s a striking image of togetherness, yet loneliness – physically close but emotionally distant. It’s a quiet epidemic – one that’s silently shaping their world and ours.
As educators, we’re standing at a crossroads. We can continue to lament that kids don’t have empathy or that they don’t know how to talk to each other while watching them spiral further into digital isolation. We can blame their families or society.
Or…
We can do what we do best – create spaces where young people can reconnect with each other, with us, and with themselves. And we need to do it now.
The Science of Synchronisation
Haidt argues that the explosion of screen time, especially unstructured social media use, has rewired childhood and adolescence in a way that’s eroding resilience. But here’s what’s even more alarming: The teen years are a critical window for brain development, and one of the most powerful regulators of emotional wellbeing during this time is synchronised, embodied experiences – moments when our nervous systems literally sync up with others through shared movement, rhythm and emotion.
Picture kids playing yard basketball, a class laughing together over a shared joke, or students working in sync on a group project. These are not just ‘nice’ moments; they are essential neural workouts. They co-regulate the nervous system, build social trust, and embed a felt sense of safety in the body. Without these, kids become dysregulated, anxious, and disconnected from both themselves and their peers.
And yet, where do most of our young people spend their time now? Alone, scrolling, curating their lives for an audience rather than living them in the messy and beautiful reality of in-person connection.
You are probably thinking: Great. Another thing for us to fix. And you’re right – this is big. But it’s also doable. The classroom is one of the last places where kids have to show up in real life, and that makes our role more important than ever.
So what do we do? We prioritise connection, not just curriculum. We intentionally create synchronicity in our classrooms and schools. And we commit to fighting for real, embodied experiences, even when the world is screaming for individualisation.
How?
- Start with Circles
Structured conversation circles tap into our ancient need for communal storytelling and shared emotion. When kids sit face-to-face, make eye contact, and listen to each other, their nervous systems sync up. And that’s the foundation of real trust.
- Get Them Moving – Together
Group activities that require physical coordination – team sports, dance, drama, even whole-class games – are perfect ways to counteract digital isolation. These moments of synchronised movement help regulate emotions in ways that no mindfulness app ever could.
- Embrace the Messy, Awkward, and Imperfect
Real connection isn’t polished or filtered. It happens in the awkward pauses, the failed jokes, and the moments of shared struggle. Let’s model and celebrate these moments so kids see that imperfection is part of the human experience, not something to hide from.
Will kids resist? Absolutely. Disconnection has become their comfort zone. Pulling them into real, unscripted human interaction might feel like pushing them into cold water. But here’s the thing – growth happens when we’re willing to sit in discomfort. Stay the course, and you’ll witness the transformation.
The science, the data, it’s clear. But we’ve seen it with our own eyes. We’ve watched students come back to life when they’re seen, heard, and feel truly part of something.
This isn’t another task on our to-do list. This is the work. Creating spaces where kids feel seen, heard, and valued isn’t just important – it’s everything.
Let’s give our kids what the world has taken away – each other.
Want some tips on where to start? My colleagues have written a whitepaper with some great suggestions about aligning effective instruction with building relationships. Check it out here.
