We all know Term 4 can be a time where our young people become a bit more emotionally driven. Adults too if we’re being honest.
Students may be starting to tire due to sustaining that learning motivation right through to assessment time. The anxiety of what next year might bring may be starting to kick in. And one thing we can be pretty sure of is that routines established across the year both at school and home will possibly become a little lost and less predictable as we edge closer to the end. These factors can all be hairpins on the Term 4 race track that we certainly want to get a handle on to try and avoid collisions or worse, a complete burn out.
Over the next few weeks, we may see some behaviours start to drop off.
At home, this may look like our kids intentionally being lazy with chores or lacking in expected behaviours you have worked on with them all year.
At school, it may look like our students are regressing to behaviours they presented with in Term 1. It’s okay – we’ve got this. We will, however, need to relentlessly ramp up our priming, have some stored responses and give some preparation space to what’s ahead.
We need to prioritise speaking to the behaviour we want our young people to show and resist the urge to call out those negative behaviours in the first instance. We are going to have to work hard and try not to lose our cool or negatively prime with ‘Stops’ or ‘Don’ts’. Priming our young people by talking to the behaviour we want to see, provides clarity in what we expect of them, shining a brighter light on that racing lane we want them to file into and not drift out or fishtail.
Prime, prime, prime…
Instead of saying, “Don’t slacken off,” prime with, “Keep pushing till the end, you’ve got this!”
Instead of saying, “You should know how to behave by now,” prime with, “Let’s follow our home/class expectations.”
Having some stored responses ready to go is going to be a win for our levelled temperament every time. Think of what is starting to niggle you already this term and then come up with a calm response to have on hand.
If my young person is speaking disrespectfully to me, my go to is, “I’m happy to chat when you are speaking with respect,” or, “I like that you want to be part of this conversation, I will listen when you speak with respect.”
If a young person is calling out in the classroom, my go to is, “I can’t speak with those calling out, but I can speak to those with their hand up.”
Preparation circles are a key part of working restoratively to step our young people through an upcoming change or challenge so they know what to expect.
Consider some events or changes on the horizon this term that we can prepare our students for and reduce that anxiety they may be feeling – for example, an excursion or camp, lunch with their next year’s teacher, orientation for formal schooling or high school.
Then set about doing this WITH our young people.
Intentionally start with how they want to feel from the experience and connect those feelings with how they need to show up in order to feel that way. This co-designed conversation sets the expected behaviour with the support needed to prepare for it.
If students want to feel confident having lunch with their new teacher, they may need to introduce themselves to new classmates, ask questions and walk into the class with their head high. If they want to feel secure, they may need to look around to see if any of their past peers are in their class, remember where their new class is for day one next year, and greet the teacher.
We can then support students to reflect on the experience to see how it went. Do we need to stomp on the brakes to provide more tailored support, or keep accelerating? As parents, we can support this conversation at home – checking in with how their lunch with the teacher felt and how they contributed. The more we can be on the same page to thank and congratulate our young people for showing behaviours that align with our values and beliefs, the more they will be inclined to keep going.
So strap yourself in and be ready for the ride people, the final lap will be here before you know it.
And if we can tilt the odds just a little, surely it’s worth racing to the end with our cars in tune and relationships intact, feeling the joy and accomplishments of the whole year as we cross that finish line.
