Sometimes, learning something new doesn’t feel inspiring or exciting, it feels uncomfortable. It can be challenging, nerve-wracking, and even disheartening. You might find yourself doubting the process or wondering if it’s even worth trying. That feeling isn’t failure. It’s your brain doing exactly what it’s designed to do: keep you safe.
Our brains crave familiarity. What we already know feels secure. Routines give us a sense of control. So, when we’re asked to stretch, to try something different, or to think in new ways, it can trigger resistance. That resistance is natural, but it can also be misleading.
When discomfort shows up, our instincts might push us to avoid it. And instead of confronting the challenge head-on, it can feel easier to direct that unease outward. Sometimes, we blame the person who’s trying to help us grow. We question their methods. We tell ourselves the problem is “them,” not the process.
It’s something we see students do all the time. They hit a tough spot, and suddenly the teacher is the problem. The assignment is unfair. The instructions were confusing. The resistance isn’t about the material, it’s about the discomfort of learning.
But here’s the thing: as adults, we do the same thing.
We might not roll our eyes or blurt it out, but we find more subtle ways to avoid discomfort. We get defensive in meetings. We tune out feedback. We tell ourselves that the new strategy won’t work because we have already tried it. While we may have tried it one time, our brain was looking for confirmation that it wasn’t going to work… familiarity, routine, safety, back to what I have always done.
So the question becomes: how do we avoid doing this to each other?
It starts with awareness. If we can notice our own resistance, really notice it, we can begin to shift how we respond. Instead of blaming others or shutting down, we can ask ourselves, “Is this discomfort a signal that something’s wrong, or is it just part of the process of learning something new?”
It’s not always easy. Growth rarely is. But when we allow ourselves to sit with the discomfort, to be open to it instead of pushing it away, we give ourselves the opportunity to move forward.
The next time you feel that tension rise – whether it’s in a training session, a difficult conversation, or while trying out a new skill – pause. Take a breath. And remember: you’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it. You’re learning.
Check out other articles Cassie has written here.