Like most people, I love to people watch. I love it more when it doesn’t impact me! The chance to see people ‘break the codes’ of social expectations can offer entertainment, but it can also provide an opportunity to reflect and learn about ways to behave.
On a recent trip to beautiful Bali, I had the blissful opportunity to chill by the pool. Cocktail in hand; we had finished a swim and a bite to eat. Most of us were dozing off with the warm air drying our wet towels and bathers.
We had the pool mostly to ourselves, with one other family at the shallow end. A young couple with three children arrived and set up a few chairs away, laying out their belongings before scanning the pool.
The woman and children walked to the shallow end, furthest from us, and entered the water gracefully. The man strode in our direction, stopped directly in front of us and launched himself into the air like he’d been shot from a catapult, before crashing into the pool with tidal wave repercussions.
The mini tsunami that followed covered most of us in water and flooded the floor where our bags and shoes lay.
We clamoured to collect our gear, gasping and muttering in disbelief. No real harm done, though it was a shock!
When he surfaced, he scanned the crowd for approval and was clearly ‘miffed’ by our reaction. What happened next was equally as surprising, though much more disappointing.
“Grow up!” he shouted. “It’s a pool. You’re going to get wet”.
This had us utterly lost for words.
When I witness such incivility, particularly to, or in front of our young people, I’m reminded of how important our role is to support them to develop empathy and care by learning that our actions have an impact on others – and that when we mess up, we clean up.
These are the same young people who will share our roads, restaurants, shops, communities and even holidays, and who will hopefully look after us well as we age. Socially appropriate behaviour is learned through what we say and do, and we all have a role to gift this to our young people, right now.
This dude clearly missed the memo.
Empathy, courtesy, care, compassion and kindness to others, regardless of the context, sure go a long way to shore up the behaviours and cultural cohesion we want and deserve.
