My son Ronan is now 21 and is going to utterly hate that I’ve written a blog about him. Ah well, what are parents for if not the odd spot of public humiliation.
As a kid, Ronan loved Aussie Rules footy and so we took him to join South Mornington Junior FC. He had a great coach and was well looked after. He just loved footy, despite being – at best – an average player.
Then Ronan got tall, like really tall. His height became an asset and supercharged his confidence on the footy field. He started to play exceptionally well and footy was even funner.
And then Ronan got noticed. He was selected in interleague teams, in development leagues and placed on talent development pathways.
Suddenly, Ronan was no longer playing with, supporting and loving his teammates. He was being compared against them and competing with each of them in the hope of getting drafted into the AFL. Footy suddenly became high stakes.
One day, Ronan came to me and told me he wasn’t playing any more – at all. He told me footy had become a chore. He didn’t like the ultra-competitive culture and always feeling he wasn’t quite as good as somebody else.
He doesn’t play footy these days. As a Dad, I regret that I didn’t see his love of the sport dwindling earlier as I drove him across the state to all of those representative “honours”. I feel quite guilty about it actually.
The moral of this tale? In the apparently critical pursuits of excellence, endless improvement, testing and gap filling … be bloody careful that you don’t take the fun out of learning on the way.
When it’s no longer fun, kids check out. Checking out of being footballers is one thing, but kids checking out of being learners … and perhaps never coming back?
That should frighten all of us.
Keep fighting that good fight,
P.S. Want calmer classrooms, confident staff and fewer flare-ups? Join me on Tuesday 23 September, 2:00pm AEST and get the practical pathway to “going restorative.”
The Restorative Readiness Framework Online Workshop
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