Ever had a colleague, student or even a parent seem determined to block your every move? Maybe you’re rolling out a new program, or just trying to get through Monday, and someone is digging in their heels like a stubborn mule on a rainy sports day. It’s easy to take it personally. But here’s the truth: it’s rarely about you.
Let’s get this out of the way early – human behaviour is complicated. If it was as simple as, “They’re just being difficult,” we’d have solved it by now (probably with a laminated flowchart and a catchy acronym). But people aren’t robots. They’re not even particularly consistent. And that’s where things get interesting.
People Behave to Get, Avoid or Achieve.
At its core, behaviour is about three things: getting something, avoiding something, or achieving something. The “public blocker” isn’t out to get you – they might be craving control, dodging uncertainty, or just trying to keep things steady. It’s rarely personal.
The golden rule of behaviour? Don’t take it personally. When we do, our brains go limbic. We get emotional, defensive and start plotting elaborate revenge involving staffroom fridge politics.
Instead, take a breath. Step back. Ask yourself, “What might be going on for this person? What are they trying to get, avoid, or achieve?”
Context is everything. Someone who’s usually a team player suddenly turns into a human roadblock? There’s a reason. Maybe there’s pressure at home. Maybe they’ve seen a dozen “new initiatives” come and go, and they’re tired of the next big thing. Maybe they just need to be heard.
When we understand the context behind behaviour, we stop seeing people as problems to fix and start seeing them as humans to support.
What To Do When You Meet a Blocker
Stay Curious, Not Furious
Instead of gearing up for battle, get curious. Ask questions. “I noticed you’ve got some concerns – can you tell me more?” Sometimes, just being heard is enough to lower the drawbridge.
Acknowledge the Feeling
“It sounds like you’ve seen a lot of changes lately. That can be exhausting.” No need to break out the violins, but a little empathy goes a long way.
Find the Why
Are they worried about workload? Afraid of failing? Just want to keep their lunchtime sacred? The more you know, the better you can work together.
Work With, Not Against
Invite them into the process. “How could we make this work for you?” People are more likely to support what they help create.
Keep Your Cool
If you feel yourself getting limbic (read: ready to throw a stapler), pause. Remember, it’s not about you. It’s about what’s going on for them.
Here’s the kicker: when we get this right – when we respond with understanding instead of going adversarial – we don’t just build better relationships. We get better engagement. People feel safer, more valued and more willing to try new things. And that’s when the magic happens in the classroom (and the staffroom).
Students who feel understood are more likely to take risks and engage in learning. Staff who feel supported are more likely to try new approaches. The whole school climate shifts. Suddenly, those blockers? They’re not blocking – they’re building.
Next time you meet resistance, remember: it’s not about you. It’s about what’s going on for them. If you lean into the process, stay curious, and keep your sense of humour, you’ll find that even the toughest blockers can become your best allies.
And if all else fails, there’s always coffee. Sometimes, that’s all anyone’s really after!
Check out other articles Candice has written here.