One example of where punishments and consequences fit within a sound, contemporary restorative model is when it’s the student’s choice. After all, I’m not keen on dragging anyone through a restorative conversation against their will.
A tactic I used regularly when a student had a ‘blow-up’ was to pop two choices on post-it notes in front of them once they’d calmed a little:
- We’ve got two students and a teacher to patch things up with. I’ll come and help. Will take 15-20 minutes.
- You miss three days of recess/lunch, and interschool sport on Friday.
You choose, kid!
My world resistance record is held by one particular student who chose the punitive response on eight consecutive occasions. Eight!
All this despite my cajoling, my begging, my insistence that no blood was drawn in restorative chats and my enlisting of a peer to assure her that the restorative response wasn’t so nasty.
It raises the question about why Restorative Practices has a reputation for being too soft. If RP is the soft option, why did this student leap to the punitive response EIGHT times? Simply, it’s because, for her, punishments are the soft option.
She’d seen off plenty of detentions, missed plenty of netball matches and is thoroughly numb to her parents’ rage (at both her and the school) when she screws up. She couldn’t care less.
That’s why hanging in there, continuing the coaxing, deploying the punishments and persisting until you finally hear, “Oh fine, I’ll answer your stupid feelings questions,” is worthy work.
My experience is that, once students cross that restorative bridge of their own volition, behaviour improvements are authentically cultivated… and they also don’t go back.
Keep fighting that good fight,
P.S. I get lots of questions from school leaders about how to embed Restorative Practices in their schools. I know the answer is not another one-day PL Day for your staff!
I am hosting a free webinar for Principals and School Leaders to learn how to create a positive, restorative culture for your school through partnership and I’d love you to join me.
Date: Thursday 31 October 2024
Time: 4.00pm AEDT
Cost: Free
Find out more and register here.
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